Tuesday, August 19, 2008

To Funny Not To Post!

This did not happen to me or anyone I know but I thought it was so funny I had to post it! Thanks Mom for the laugh!
I went grocery shopping recently while not being altogether sure that said course of action was a wise one. You see, the previous evening I had prepared and consumed a massive quantity of my patented 'You're definitely going to mess yourself' chili.
Tasty stuff, albeit hot to the point of being painful, which comes with a written guarantee from me that if you eat the next day both of your butt cheeks WILL fall off.
Here's the thing. I had awakened that morning, and even after two cups of coffee (and all of you know what I mean) nothing happened. No 'Watson's Movement 2'. Despite habanera peppers swimming their way through my intestinal tract, I appeared to be unable to create the usual morning symphony referred to by my next door neighbors as thunder and lightning.
Knowing that a time of reckoning had to come, yet not sure of when, I bravely set off for the market; a local Wal-Mart <http://www.walmart.com/> grocery store that I often haunt in search of tasty tidbits.
Upon entering the store at first all seemed normal. I selected a cart and began pushing it about dropping items in for purchase. It wasn't until I was at the opposite end of the store from the restrooms that the pain hit me. Oh, don't look at me like you don't know what I'm talking about.
I'm referring to that 'Uh oh, gotta go' pain that always seems to hit us at the wrong time. The thing is, this pain was different. The habaneras in the chili from the night before were staging a revolt. In a mad rush for freedom they bullied their way through the small intestines, forcing their way into the large intestines, and before I could take one step in the direction of the restrooms which would bring sweet relief, it happened.
The peppers fired a warning shot.
There I stood, alone in the spice and baking aisle, suddenly enveloped in a noxious cloud the likes of which has never before been recorded. I was afraid to move for fear that more of this vile odor might escape me.
Slowly, oh so slowly, the pressure seemed to leave the lower part of my body, and I began to move up the aisle and out of it, just as an elderly woman turned into it.
I don't know what made me do it, but I stopped to see what her reaction would be to the malodorous effluvium that refused to dissipate, as she walked into it unsuspecting. Have you ever been torn in two different directions emotionally? Here's what I mean, and I'm sure some of you at least will be able to relate.
I could've warned that poor woman but didn't. I simply watched as she walked into an invisible, and apparently indestructible, wall of odor so terrible that all she could do before gathering her senses and running, was to stand there blinking and waving her arms about her head as though trying to ward off angry bees.
This, of course , made me feel terrible, but then made me laugh. Big Mistake!
Here's the thing. When you laugh, it's hard to keep things 'clamped down', if you know what I mean. With each new guffaw an explosive issue burst forth from my nether region. Some were so loud and echoing that I was later told a few folks in other aisles had ducked, fearing that someone was robbing the store and firing off a shotgun.
Suddenly things were no longer funny. IT was coming, and I raced off through the store towards the restrooms, laying down a cloud the whole way, praying that I'd make it before the grand explosion took place.
Luck was on my side. Just in the nick of time I got to the john, began the inevitable 'Oh my God', floating above the toilet seat because my butt is burning SO BAD, purging.
One poor fellow walked in while I was in the middle of what is the true meaning of 'Shock and Awe'. He made a gagging sound, and disgustedly said, ' Oh my God!', then quickly left.
Once finished I left the restroom, reacquired my partially filled cart intending to carry on with my shopping when a store employee approached me and said, 'Sir, you might want to step outside for a few minutes. It appears some prankster set off a stink bomb in the store. The manager is going to run the vent fans on high for a minute or two which ought to take care of the problem.'
That of course set me off again, causing residual gases to escape me.
The employee took one sniff, jumped back pulling his shirt up to cover his nose and, pointing at me in an accusing manner shouted, 'IT'S YOU!', then ran off returning moments later with the manager. I was unceremoniously escorted from the premises and asked none too kindly not to return.
Home again without having shopped, I realized that there was nothing to eat but leftover chili, so I consumed two more bowls. The next day I went to shop at Albertson's. I can't say anymore about that because we are in court over the whole matter. They claim they're going to have to repaint the store.
John Mills
Assistant Store Manager

Friday, August 15, 2008

Bowdy's First few day's of Preschool

I had planned on not sending Bowdy to Preschool this year because he is still very young and barely turned 3 in June so on Monday morning the girls were all getting ready for school and Bowdy woke up and started taking off his jammies and putting on his clothes he said he was going to school I tried to tell him that he was not going this year but he insisted that he was going grabbed his back pack and headed out the door. When I got Tatum and Cassidy to school I went to the front desk and asked for the papers to fill out so he could go to school. I filled them out and sent him to school the next day. he was very excited to go until he found out that I would not be staying with him then he did not want to stay anymore but I had him stay just to see if he would like it, and he didn't. So now Bowdy is back at home with me saying that he does not like school and does not want to go back! I have to say that my couple of day's of free time was quiet nice didn't really know what to do. Now I cant wait till he really starts school! The pictures I have of him going to preschool are stuck on my camera and will not download to the computer so I will update with pictures as soon as I get them off.

Chelcey's First Day of Jr. High School

So something strange is going on. I have an 11 year old in the High School now! It's really the Ramah Middle and High School all in one. But I still have a daughter in a High School with a lot of High School teenagers running around. Chelcey is really liking the new school she fills so big and yet I fill she's so small. I did take some pictures of her going to school but for some strange reason they will not download from the camera to the computer so if I ever get them to I will post them. I told her that I would not take pictures of her if people were around but when we got there no one was around so I got to take some. I fill this is a big step in her life one that I'm not ready for. One that leads to some new adventures and choices in life. She has grown way to fast for me and it almost breaks my heart. I have not let her see how sad it makes me because what high schooler wants to see there mom cry? I know she has good faith and will make the right choices in her life, but for now I still want to make them for her and that's very hard to do.

Shane's Birthday!

They love there daddy!
That's alot of candles!
I know I'm way late at posting this but I have had a busy couple of week's. Shane's birthday was August 6th, he turned 34! We didn't have a big party just us and the kid's. The girl's and Bowdy made him a chocolate cake with chocolate icing and chocolate sprinkles. I guess he likes chocolate. For his birthday dinner he wanted prime rib, mashed potatoes, corn, rolls and salad, but since Tom and Lance took him out to a birthday lunch at Denny's he was to full to eat when he got home so he ate it the next night. The kid's could not wait for him to get home because he had been working late for the past couple of days and getting home late so they knew he would be home early. They made me call him at six o'clock to make sure he was on his way home. When they saw him coming up the rode they all were hiding so they could jump out and say "Surprise! Happy Birthday Dad!" Bowdy said "Surprise! It's my Birthday Dad!" even though it was not a surprise party he still played along. After we had cake and ice cream the kids gave Shane a back rub. Then he relaxed on the couch.

Friday, August 8, 2008

A camping and a branding we will go!

Well it was that time of the year again were we pack up the old camper and head out to the ranch to get the calf's all branded. It started off on Friday evening we headed out to the ranch to set up camp. It was our family along with Uncle Lance's family, Grandma, Grandpa, Jeff and Debbie Bond we all had dinner by the camp fire it was fun! We ate steak, beans, potato salad & roasted corn, it was really good. Later that night we told camp fire story's which all the kids loved because we let them tell there own stories. Bowdy fell asleep before it was his turn and so did Sonrisa and Savanah they had a long day and were tired. The next morning we had a big breakfast that Uncle Lance made, very yummy. Then it was off to get the calf's branded. Beef came back out that morning to help. Beef and Lance would rope the calf get it to the ground, Grandpa would brand and Shane would cut the bull calf balls off. The whole time this was going on the kids just watched from the side and some of them even wanted to ride. Cassidy and Tatum collected the balls because they said they wanted to cook them. (GROSS!) Well they did cook them but no one ate them just the dogs. I believe this is the most fun some kids could have being out on the ranch and helping with the calf's they can get dirty and run all over the place without being told not to get dirty or run off any where they really do like it and have allot of fun. But sadly this is the last of the E-E cattle company branding it was bitter sweet to see the last of the calf's being branded. It's hard to try and keep two ranches running at the same time when you have so little time to do it in. But were one dream end's another one begins and it comes in the form of Bowdy Bucking Bull's. There will be no balls cut off these bulls and the branding will be a little bit wilder and the out come will be more exciting. All in all we will still have fun doing it.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Bowdy Bucking Bulls With Sandy Blue Rooster

Sandy Blue Rooster

Sandy Blue Rooster

I don't think I would want to get in his way!

I know a lot of people are not interested in Bull's but we are and it's what we raise and take much pride in. We just recently bought a new bull and his name is Sandy Blue Rooster. His dad is a bull named Rooster one of the greatest bucking bull's and producing bull's of all time. If that helps anyone. Shane, Tom, Cassidy & TJ drove all the way to Oklahoma to pick him up and bring him home, all in a two days drive. Shane said Cassidy and TJ were full of it all the way there and all the way back! On there way there they also got to stop somewhere on I40 to meet Carl, Starla, Skye, & Delanie at Dairy Queen, which was a surprise to the kids they didn't know that there cousins would be there. Carl's family were on there way to Ramah to visit at the same time Shane was going there way to pick up the new bull. Anyway next year I will post some pictures of the new baby calf's that we get and hopefully they will be as nice looking as there dad! Grandsons and granddaughters to the mighty Rooster!

Sandy Blue Rooster claiming his territory!